PAIN RULES OR I RULE

When a person lives with chronic pain, even if they are not consciously aware of it — pain itself becomes the center of their life.
It decides what they can and cannot do.
What they want and what they don’t want.
Where they will go and where they won’t.
Who they meet, what they do, what they postpone.
Pain is not just a symptom. It becomes the dispatcher of life.

A healthy person, in most cases, does not build their life around health.
They might not think about it at all.
They simply live — with ideas, activities, plans, spontaneity, movement.
Often, it is those who have experienced illness who begin to appreciate what it means to simply live without constantly looking back at pain.

I see my role as gently taking a person by the hand and guiding them from the point of “pain controls me” to the point of “I control my life.”
But when I tell a patient that to break this cycle, they need to put healing at the center — I almost always hear in response:
“Too many tasks!”
“I can’t handle it.”
“It will take all my attention!”
“I don’t have the time or energy.”
“I have children, work, responsibilities…”
“I can’t live only by treatment!”

And I understand.
But here’s the thing:
You can’t just jump from one point to another without going through the transition.

And in the transition, treatment becomes the driver.
For a while.
Not forever. But long enough.
From several weeks to months.
This is not a punishment. It is the only bridge between “pain rules” and “I rule.”

It’s like if you were driving down a road and got off track. Went the wrong way.
To get back onto a good, wide highway — you’ll have to reroute.
And maybe the detour will be inconvenient.
Sometimes through broken streets. Sometimes a longer way around. Sometimes longer than you expected.
But there is no other way to get back on your road.

The farther you’ve gone, the longer and more complicated the way back will be.
But the only alternative is to stay where you ended up.
And you didn’t want to go there in the first place.

So the choice of “to treat or not to treat” doesn’t really exist.
There is a choice — either to stay stuck,
or to take the route back that will lead you to where you want to be.